“How many kittens do I have to kill around here for you guys to do the correct choreography?!” -Not Abby Lee Miller. Shocking, I know.
To this day I’d still like to think my coach meant well. She was all about tough love and in the world of professional cheerleading, it seemed like the norm.
I was going on my fourth season (third as captain) when our team won a national championship. It had been a rough few months, both mentally and physically. I was dancing with multiple injuries and hearing nothing but negative feedback from my coach. Anything from “I don’t understand how you’re a captain” to “your spray tan is uneven” to “the makeup on your face looks like garbage.” As if being captain wasn’t enough pressure, she piled on insult after insult. It can take a serious toll on your confidence.
Sadly, professional cheering is mostly – if not all – about appearance. After a while, I truly felt like I was never going to be good enough. By the end of the season, I was feeling completely defeated from all the negativity and second-guessing everything I thought I was good at.
It wasn’t until the after party for our team’s national championship win, that I realized there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
At these types of things, our job as cheerleaders was to chat it up with the families, fans and partygoers. I bumped into one of the player’s mothers who I recognized from a few of the games.
“So what’s next?” she asked. I told her all about our upcoming calendar shoot and how I was so excited because of the swimwear that was custom-made for each girl. “No, not that!” she replied with a laugh. “What’s next for you after cheering?”
Sadly, I hadn’t even thought that far. Cheering and dancing was all I’d known for the last two decades.
Her off-handed attempt to make small talk completely opened my eyes. In that moment, I’m standing there realizing how completely consumed I’d become in this one narrow world of professional cheerleading. I had resigned to the idea that this was the highlight of my life, but in reality I had so much more left to accomplish.
Taking note of the inner turmoil that was clearly going on in my head, she nonchalantly proceeded to say, “Well you should totally do something in beauty or fashion. Maybe start a blog! You always have the cutest outfits on when you’re not in uniform.”
It took a few days for the compliment to sink in, but I really liked her idea. I was a big fan of fashion blogs, but never thought in a million years to start my own. For years, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers would stop me for fashion advice or ask me what mascara I was wearing. It seemed like the obvious next step.
It’s been three years now since I officially retired from professional cheerleading. I started that blog and I can’t thank that woman enough. As fate would have it, I ran into her a few months ago at one of the games (her son still plays for the team and yes – I still cheer them on unofficially in the stands). I was so excited to tell her about all of the great opportunities that have come my way since starting the site. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I would have had the drive to push myself in such a creative route.
It blows my mind how one person could have such an impact on my self-confidence – both positively and negatively. To think I was once berated by my coach about my lipstick, and now I’m sharing my favorite shades with my readers.
Walking away from the world I’d known for so long felt like jumping of a cliff. It turns out all I needed was that one conversation to give me the nudge I needed to dive in.
