Trying something new here on Eye Hate Heels. If you listen to my podcast, you’re well aware of what a psycho fan of ‘The Bachelor’ I am, so now that it’s officially 2017 and the premiere ep has come and gone, I thought it’d be fun to do week by week recaps Nick Viall’s season.
Night one was short a few Lauren’s, but made up for it in red dresses. Nick Viall still looks like a Keebler Elf to me. He legit referred to his future ex-fiance as “that lady”, so safe to say Nick’s in it for the right reasons this (fourth) go-around. The highlight of episode one for me each season is suffering through the second-hand embarrassment I get via each girl’s limo exit. Below are a few notes I jotted down on a few standouts…
Danielle L. is GORGEOUS and giving me Andi Dorfman vibes. Anyone else?
Rachel, the attorney from Houston, is def going to be a fan favorite (and Nick’s as well – she got the First Impression Rose). Probably not mine, but I would place bets on America taking a liking to her. Do you think she’ll vacuum the Bachelor mansion?
Christen or shall we call her “Belle” is straight out of a Disney movie – virginity and all.
Taylor is beautiful, but probs had one of the more awkward intros of the evening. I’d assume telling a future suitor that your friends all hate him straightaway is not the best move…
Ida Marie’s crop top needs to be burned along with that trust fall. Luckily, she got the ax.
Sarah’s runner-up jog with the gown/sneakers was cute.
Jasmine brought Neil Lane with her. I immediately recognized her as a former DCC and from what I saw in the previews, she’s not well liked by the other girls. Melissa Rycroft (along with the entire Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Organization) is cringing right now.
Hailey’s underwear joke was stupid.
Apparently Astrid’s breasts are real.
Liz, Jade’s MOH, should’ve stayed home. I found it really concerning that she didn’t expect Nick to remember her.
Corinne, the villain of the season, has the EXACT same mouth as Kaitlyn Bristowe. Tell me I’m not the only one who noticed this…
It takes a special person to teach special ed so I’m keeping my eye on Vanessa as the front-runner.
I’m actually really mad that Raven is allowed to own a boutique. Not to sound harsh, but she is uber trashy. Come on, ABC.
According to Susannah, beard massages are a thing.
Lacey loves a good hump.
Alexis, the aspiring dolphin trainer, “DOLFinitely” needs to reevaluate her life – and be my BFF.
From a fashion prospective, Vanessa was my best dressed of the evening. Not only did she NOT wear red, but went bold with a patterned gown and statement earrings.
Lingering Thoughts: When will Sean Lowe’s fifteen minutes be up? I hope Corinne’s Nanny joins her in Paradise this summer. A girlfriend for Jorge!
You can buy the dolphin (shark) suit here:
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